Friday, October 7, 2011

I Can't Do It All

One of the hardest lessons I have had to learn since I became a mom is that I just can't do it all. I really think there is far too much emphasis put on the perception of the supermom in our society and it's just not realistic. I have tried my hardest, but life can be incredibly overwhelming and trying to be everything to everyone just isn't possible. I think the whole idea is ridiculous to expect of any woman, but is even more difficult for mothers of children with special needs.

I want to give both of my children everything they need to succeed in life. Aaron just needs a lot more than most kids and he probably always will. This can be exhausting but it's often hard to step back and let someone else help because I feel like it's my job to provide everything for him.

I have felt this way frequently over the past three years. When he was first diagnosed with Down syndrome, we learned that the Early Intervention program was available to provide therapy for him. That one wasn't too difficult because I am in the medical profession and I know the benefits that therapy can provide for him that I just can't.

Then we were told we were eligible to apply for Medicaid for Aaron. That one was difficult to accept. Using government assistance was never something that I had even considered. It's hard to swallow your pride and look at the benefits sometimes. But I finally did and what a relief it has been. Aaron has had lots of expensive medical procedures in his life and having Medicaid as a backup insurance has been a tremendous help.
Just accepting help watching my children has been hard as well. Now that Aaron is getting older, caring for him is not as simple as caring for any other child and it is hard to find someone I trust to watch him. My mother is coming to visit next week and I am so excited. Matt and I are going to be able to go away for a few days. It will be the first time I have spent more than a night away from Aaron and the break is desperately needed.

I have a feeling I am going to have to learn this lesson over and over for the rest of my life. I am always going to be trying to "do it all" and will constantly have to remind myself that it's okay if I can't. Really. It's okay.

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