Have you ever felt like you just can't catch a break? Like every little thing goes wrong all day long and completely ruins your mood and your attitude? Today has been one of those days for me and it's not even lunch time. Unfortunately, I feel like I have had a lot of those days lately and it just plain sucks.
I want to enjoy my family and my children. I want to be the mom that does fun activities with her kids and keeps a (relatively) clean house and has a good dinner on the table for her family every night. Instead, I feel like the mom who is constantly yelling at her kids and trying to get away from them, almost never provides any fun activities that we can all do together and more often than not feeds her kids lunch meat and cut up fruits and vegetables for dinner while I sit and watch them eat. And don't even get me started on what a wreck the house is all the time. I am exhausted at the end of the day (who am I kidding, I'm exhausted by the middle of the day) and I just can't seem to be the person I want to be.
Today, we got up early to take Daddy to the airport because he had to go to Las Vegas for the week for work. I tried to think of things to do with the kids today to keep them busy so we wouldn't be driving each other crazy. Going anywhere is pretty much out of the question because Aaron doesn't like being confined in his stroller and if he's not in his stroller when we are in public, he will run off and make it impossible to do anything. If he is in his stroller, he screams and cries. So, I am left to think of activities we can do at home. I got him a new water table last week and he hasn't played with it yet, so I thought that would be fun and would probably entertain them for an hour or two.
When we got home from the airport, I filled the table up with water and let Aaron play. The first thing he did was try to climb onto the table like he was getting into the bathtub. It's not a pool, so that didn't work, but it didn't prevent him from trying it about 5 dozen times. When he wasn't trying to get into the table, he found the drain plug and promptly pulled it so all the water drained out. After refilling the table (a couple of times), both boys were playing and getting completely soaked (which is fine - that's kind of the point). But of course every few minutes someone would cry or complain about something. Then a bee showed up and ruined the whole activity since Jacob refused to go anywhere near the table after that. (The bee did not sting anyone, but Jacob was stung by a yellow jacket last year and has been terrified of all bees since then) So that was the end of that activity! It lasted all of about 30 minutes.
So we came inside and watched some Blue's Clues and Phineas and Ferb on Netflix. But the dog also decided to pee on the floor next to me and Aaron stuck his hands in it before I noticed it. Once I cleaned that up and washed Aaron's hands, I noticed he had made a mess with his snack all over the walls, so I had to get out the Mr. Clean Magic Eraser to clean that up and while I was trying to do that, Aaron found his water bottle, came up behind me and started dumping his water on my back. Of course this was hilarious (to him). So now, the dog is outside, the boys are in their rooms and I am trying to convince myself that I can make it through the rest of this day. It's not even noon yet.
So I need some help here. I have all sorts of friends who post on Facebook and on their blogs about how great their kids are and the fun things they do together and how they can't wait for summer vacation so they can spend more time together. How do you do it? (by the way, if that's you, I'm not trying to be mean, I really want to know!) How do you enjoy all that time together without losing your mind? How do you do all of these fun things together and cook dinner and have that perfect family? I have been trying but I can't seem to figure it out, so I need some tips. Are you really as perfect and pulled together as you make it look? People tell me all the time that they don't know how I do what I do and sometimes people even tell me I'm a great mom. I feel like I am trying but I am far from a great mom or at least far from the mom that I want to be.
I'm not writing this because I want a pity party (although I realize that is pretty much what it sounds like) and I am not overwhelmed or feeling depressed. I'm just frustrated with the way things are and I want to make it better but I don't know how. So really, if you have any suggestions or tips on how you manage to get things done and actually enjoy your children, I would love to hear them.